Became a favorite on the Dr. Demento radio show and has been played there many times:
| Show Number | Air Date | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| 82-25 | June 20, 1982 | |
| 82-26 | June 27, 1982 | |
| 82-31 | August 1, 1982 | |
| 82-34 | August 22, 1982 | |
| 82-36 | September 5, 1982 | #4 on the "Funny Five" |
| 82-43 | October 24, 1982 | #5 on the "Funny Five" |
| 82-46 | November 14, 1982 | #5 on the "Funny Five" |
| 83-13 | March 27, 1983 | |
| 83-18 | May 1, 1983 | |
| 83-31 | July 31, 1983 | #5 on the "Funny Five" |
| 83-46 | November 13, 1983 | |
| 84-26 | June 24, 1984 | |
| 85-40 | October 6, 1985 | |
| 87-25 | June 21, 1987 | |
| 88-28 | July 10, 1988 | |
| 89-48 | November 26, 1989 | |
| 90-31 | August 5, 1990 | |
| 90-42 | October 21, 1990 | |
| 91-03 | January 20, 1991 | |
| 91-36 | September 8, 1991 | |
| 92-08 | February 23, 1992 | |
| 92-46 | November 15, 1992 | |
| 94-13 | March 27, 1994 | |
| 95-12 | March 19, 1995 | |
| 96-18 | May 5, 1996 | |
| 97-30 | July 27, 1997 | |
| 98-10 | March 8, 1998 | |
| 00-38 | September 17, 2000 | with "Chopsticks" intro |
| 01-21 | May 27, 2001 | |
| 02-12 | March 24, 2002 |
You can get show number 00-38 as a highly compressed .MP3 file from ComedyCorner.net. Be warned that it is quite large (10.6 MB) so it will take a long time to download and the FTP server only allows 10 simultaneous users so you my have trouble finding a time you can get in. The song starts about 2.5 minutes into the show.
Hey!
Hello!
We're those two dreadful children; we're always very bold.
We make a special point of never doing what we're told.
We're those two dreadful children; we search and we destroy.
We do a lot of damage for just one girl and boy.
We're those two dreadful children; we delight in causing pain.
We once tied up the housemaid and we beat her again and again.
And then, when she came 'round again, she made as if to shout
So we got a bunch of flowers and we stuffed them in her mouth.
We're those two dreadful children; our parents can't control us.
Between us we're so dreadful no reform school will enroll us.
We're those two dreadful children; so watch out for her and me.
We'll put thumbtacks in your slippers; powdered glass into your tea.
We we we we we we we we are are are are are are are
Those two dreadful children and we always go too far.
We we we we we we we we are are are are are are are
Those two dreadful children and we always go too far.
We've got a sense of humor but we havn't any cares.
Oh how I had to laugh when we kicked granny down the stairs.
On our tippy-toes we crept right up where she was standing,
And the tears ran down my face as she lay bleeding on the landing.
And when we called out "Mama! Quick! We think our granny's dying!"
And when Mama came a-running we pretended to be crying.
We said "We saw her trip"; they couldn't tell that we were lying
And since Granny was unconscious she was doing no denying!
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.
We're those two dreadful children; destruction is our aim.
The people who have delt with us are never quite the same.
We like to torture babies and to leave them in the rain.
We're those two dreadful children; we delight in causing pain.
We we we we we we we we are are are are are are are
Those two dreadful children and we always go too far.
We we we we we we we we are are are are are are are
Those two dreadful children and we always go too far.
"Say, do you remember when our Auntie stayed the night?"
"Oh yes, we crept up to her bedroom and we set her hair alight
And at the breakfast table next day Auntie looked a fright.
And out dear aunt, who was always given to understatement,
declared that she had slept 'badly' that night."
Like a rotten dental cavity
We're lousy with depravity.
Sell Mother down the river all for just one dime.
Some children are adorable.
We'd rather be deplorable.
We'd like to tell you more but we just haven't got the time.
(We're too busy being thoroughly detestable.)
And then, one day, a lady came to us and told us
That all we really wanted was love, and so...
We got her by the arms and legs and swung her in the air,
Then we kicked her in the stomach and we grabbed her by the hair,
Then we poked her eyes with pencils and stuck marbles up her nose,
Then we dragged her 'round the garden where the poison-ivy grows.
And after that we stopped and said "I think the lady knows... That"
We're those two dreadful children; we're always playing games.
We once burned down the house because we both felt like a change.
We're those two dreadful children...
But take one look into our sweet angelic faces and let it not be forgotten
That deep down at heart we're both really... ROTTEN.
We we we we we we we we are are are are are are are
Those two dreadful children and we always go too far.
We we we we we we we we are are are are are are are
Those two dreadful children and we always go too far.
The lyrics as they appear on the lyric sheet included with
TTDC: